foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
