When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Redeem this text for a blowjob
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
