whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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