It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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