I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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