But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
God, I missed his penis.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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