don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
