It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
