i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
