i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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