My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
