Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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