I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
