So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
