WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
