No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
