we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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