So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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