i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Terrible idea I love it
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
