5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
