I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
