apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Randomize
