She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
