He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
