i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
