yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize