Pregnant stripper...not hot.
too bad you live with your parents still
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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