I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
