I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
