Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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