I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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