apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Randomize
