I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize