we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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