We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
