thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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