Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize