so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
