he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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