Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
