how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
