CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
