So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
