i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
