o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
