we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Randomize
