Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
