I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
