Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
