Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
