remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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