P.S. I can't hear my feet
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
