he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
