stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
