I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
