C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
