Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
