I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
