it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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