i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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