Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
