those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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